I never thought that I would be a victim of starting new life after 40. That phrase always sounded like a cliché to me. (The truth about clichés is, they’re usually right). Two years ago, I heard the exact saying from someone close- “Hey, life begins at 40 right?!” The irony is, this was said at my 40th birthday party. I didn’t want the party to begin with but I decided to have one so my friends could hang out. At the end, I paid the bill & went home.
It took me a while to get myself together but one night I realized that new beginning after life altering events, at any age, doesn’t have to sound so gloomy. I mean, just because the relationship status changed and perhaps the place of residence, it doesn’t mean that life can’t still be fabulous & fulfilling. It doesn’t mean that happiness just reached its expiration date. We had decades to guide us & shape our persona so we definitely know who we are!
First step is to learn how to live with yourself. You always were and always will be in the relationship with YOUrself, so simply- get comfortable with it. Don’t be afraid to be alone & don’t wait for someone to occupy your life. It will be a chance to discover who you really are. Learn to love your life detour. It’s not a bad thing. Every detour, every new road teaches you something new. Every. Single. Time.
Second step is -don’t let your emotions to take over. It’s all about you now but your emotions can’t dominate you. You have to dominate your domain. Assign lots of quiet hours & be the most productive during those hours. Come up with the plan & structure for the foreseeable future. You will be amazed how much we need the serenity & what a luxury it is nowadays. That’s when you can hear your own thoughts & visualize your dreams. Tranquility is a sound of creativity. Before you know it, that bucket list of yours will be longer & more realistic.
Keep a journal of your private thoughts & read it often. Pour your heart into it. No one will read it anyway. Say & write what you want. Be brutally honest. Leave the emotional residue on the paper.
Make room every day to pray or meditate if you are a believer. It helps to talk to someone who’s bigger than you & the life itself. Say what you want or what you have to in your own words.
Acknowledge & discard toxic emotions. It takes a while to distinguish what they are, especially if those emotions were part of your everyday life. It might take a while to identify them. You might have to spend some time alone to start noticing the difference. Toxic emotions might lead you to toxic people. End relationships that steal your joy.
Lastly..buy flowers. Lots of flowers! Flowers are joyful to the eye and soul. They make any room pretty.
It might take a while for your epiphany to kick in, but it’s up to you to embrace it. You have an extraordinary chance to live the life you truly want. You’re in the front seat so enjoy the ride.
“We need setbacks, we need things to overcome. They are the essential building blocks that shape us into the people we become” – Gary Numan