Never ending decade

I recently heard someone say that we need to get over ‘80s & finally move on. As someone who was born in ‘70s but is the product of the ‘80s -I strongly disagree. If you grew up in the 80s you know what a great time it was to be alive. No other era gets as mocked as the 80’s, but let’s not bully an entire decade. It was a golden era as far as music & fashion. Regardless how you feel, you are either directly or indirectly connected to the decade.

Music in general has been huge part of my life ever since I can remember. Maturing and growing up in the ‘80s rock scene was an honor & Guns N Roses wrote a soundtrack to my youth.  Naturally I have my favorite bands, not so much favorite, and bands that truly define ‘80s which you had no other choice but knowing. I think ‘80s music is much cooler than people give it credit. I mean, when we would ever learn the word Kajagoogoo, have a hair style like A Flock of Seagulls or attend Poison’s costume party? Watching old footage with packed arenas, music videos which actually needed a budget and creativity, makes me nostalgic.  We now introduce our kids to the music that stood the test of time. I once saw Jon Bon Jovi wear a T-shirt that said “Tell your mom I said hi”. Some bands still tour after all these years and some resurfaced to join the pack. Once you hear familiar tunes from the old days, it’s when the nostalgia meets an escape. Your own personal history unfolds again. Because who hasn’t slow danced to “Heaven”? You can’t ignore those memories if you tried. It took a skill to be a musician back then. You had to play an instrument, more than one at times. Musicians relayed heavily in their ability to sing unlike some bands today. It took quite a determination to launch a record & they gave their all to be successful without a talent show or YouTube. The ‘80s gave birth to some of the finest guitar legends like Nikki Sixx, Slash or much underrated (in my opinion) Richie Sambora.

If you want to put the ‘80s music in a nutshell, I have 1 word for you- mixtape. There was no such thing as MP3, Apple Music or Spotify. You had to sit diligently by the radio forever & pray that DJ plays your favorite song. And you could then listen to it on your walkman. I’m sure there are great kid bands out there that could kick ‘80s ass but there’s a difference between having a pop celebrity moment & having a career in the field. Don’t talk to me about 1, 5 or 10 year careers.  When you get to 20, 25, 30 and the songs have stood the test of time, then talk about a career, a legacy. Sorry, but there will only be celebrities among the pop kids today. Let’s see how many artists from today’s generation make it to Cleveland’s “Rock and Roll Hall of Fame”.

L.

“…Those were the best days of my life…”- Summer of ’69 – Bryan Adams

Does “pure” altruism exist?

According to my research most of the psychologists argue there is no such thing as “pure” altruism. I started to think, there must be some benefit for helping friends, strangers or animals. We definitely want to feel good about ourselves but in my opinion it’s a very small percentage. We want people to like us & respect us and that’s what boosts our egos. Those who are believers want to increase their chance of getting into heaven.  Some of us believe in reciprocal altruism (we do good to people & people will return the favor someday). So whether we know it or not, we do help ourselves in some way, shape or form.

Altruism is defined as an ego defense, in which a person copes with his anxiety by stepping outside himself to help others. I started to wonder, what about people in altruistic vocations such as medicine or teaching? There is an expectation of honor & respect towards doctors, nurses & teachers. Which ultimately leads to entitlement, pride & satisfaction- also defined as an altruistic behavior. This argument is always attacked on different grounds. Starting with money, economic status, emotional & physical job demands, material gains etc. Often, altruism is discussed as if no compensation should be expected.

Researchers pointed out that the sense of self-satisfaction we receive from helping another, along with the idea that we “bank” favors by helping others, is evidence that humans are simply selfish. I think that being selfish to some degree is good. Some unanimously say that pure altruism doesn’t exist & it’s nothing but a selfish behavior. This brings me back to the main question if pure altruism really exists. If self satisfaction & feeling fulfilled are what we ultimately strive for in life- then theory of pure altruism is automatically eradicated. The challenge lies in finding ways to evoke the better ways to do good. Regardless which side of the spectrum you are, if you have a desire to make a positive impact & it warms your own heart- this is ultimately the worthy act. And the worthy act is, always, the greatest act.

L.

“I don’t do things for the response or for the controversy. I just live my life”- Rihanna.

Does being a female automatically make you a feminist?

Well, majority of women would probably answer yes. But to what extend? “All the way” because females need to rule the world and we have to stand in solidarity just because we have ovaries? Or do we need to be unbiased? Or it depends on the circumstances? There is probably an audience for each of the questions.

The truth is, feminism, by definition, is gender equality. Media are giving this topic way too much attention & to me it completely lost its meaning. They are trying to corrupt & brainwash the society by their beliefs of poor heroic women & evil, destructive men. Feminism has turned into nothing more than a campaign for women supremacy. I think it’s the worst thing ever created. Now that we are trying to become equal to men, it has become a power grab for women.

I have been observing females in different habitats and I have to say that I’m confused. I found 2 examples which I actually witnessed. Men opened the door once for a lady & she got offended. She said that she can get her own door. If it was me, I would push her outside, close the door & make her open it herself. Another time, man allowed himself to go first & someone complained there are no gentlemen in this world. I know women who won’t do simple chores as to mow the lawn or wash their own cars because, apparently, it’s a men’s job. But if conversation takes a different turn, we say that we don’t need men and we can live without them.

Let’s look at the corporate environment. I have been part of this establishment for over 20 years. If you look at every organizational chart it is noticeable that majority of executives are males. No argument there. Diversity is big nowadays and promoting females JUST  because they’re females is practiced more & more. Regardless if candidates fit the job description or not. No one can say anything- God forbid men. What if this was the other way around? What if there was diversity towards men? Some say we already live in this culture & I say we need to give it a rest! Ladies, let’s not be fragile in our workplace, because at the end, we shoot ourselves in the foot. Women complained for decades about the glass ceiling but now that it’s broken most of us can’t handle tough situations or tough bosses. We are called paranoid, fragile & over reacting snowflakes. Another things that bugs me is, let’s not wait 20 years to bring discriminatory case to court. If you’re dealing with the bully, deal with him on the spot. React right there at the moment. Do not wait just in case he becomes famous or rich & then nail him. You make the rest of us look bad.

Most feminists out there are hypocritical & have no common sense to realize that we already have equal rights. If feminism wants to de-sexualize women, I suggest watching 2020 Super bowl Half Time Show. It was full of sexual innuendos & stripper pole was seriously used and abused.  (Not to mention that de-sexualization would stop the human evolution).

Women can be violent too. If a woman hit a man, no one would care & everyone would assume he deserved it. If it was the other way around, everyone would go insane!

I’m still trying to form an opinion about sexual assaults & rapes. Not saying that I don’t sympathize with the rape victims because I would personally castrate all the rapists. I’m saying that most of the sexual activities are consented so by definition not an assault.

To wrap up, let’s give feminism true meaning not just the convenient label for everything. The world needs more strong headed ladies.

L.

“I felt like it was time to set up my future, so I set a goal. My goal was independence”- Beyonce  Knowles

Do you sound smarter when you use big words?

Wearing designer labels will definitely make you look neat, but does it automaticaly make you rich?

Same can be said about using big words. Do you sounds smarter when you use fancy words? Not always the case. According to a study published in “Applied cognitive psychology”, the answer is no. I’m all for being  eloquent and articulate but make sure big words are really necessary & send the clear message. I know people who constantly use big, fancy words. They are so desperate to impress everyone around them but at the end, they’re not sending a message! So pretty much bla, bla, bla with no content or direction whatsoever. I was always against people who use big words & jargon for sake of using big words. In my eyes they feel insecure about themselves. Anything that makes the statement hard to understand or has too many complicated words, will lose everyone’s attention.  Mine for sure. So stick to simplicity.

Different study has shown group of students who were asked to transcribe simple document into long academic sounding words. Almost all of them lost interest & couldn’t follow what the content was teaching them. They also felt less intelligent.  While talking, imagine that you are giving someone instructions.  If they’re complicated- there is no result.

Even Leonardo Da Vinci said “simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

Simplicity is elegant so stay as simple as you can be & you will be perceived as intelligent. As they said in the Navy- “Keep it simple, stupid”.

L.